Mary: An Advent Reflection

Every year at Christmas, I think what an amazing blessing it would be to pregnant at Christmas time so that I could share more deeply in the miracle of Mary's experience. However, what I didn't realize until my wish came true was how much of Mary's experience involved surrendering and letting go of all control. She was forced to leave her hometown and travel 75 miles from Galilee to Bethlehem for a government census when she was nine months pregnant. i was uncomfortable traveling four hours to Dayton in the luxury of our SUV... imagine having to walk or ride a donkey for 75 miles! And all that time she had no idea when her precious son would arrive, but had to trust that God, who had gotten her that far, would continue to provide for her, even if it was merely a barn for comfort.

I am far from the saint that Mary was, and so learning to relinquish control and put my trust in God to bring things about in their proper time is always very hard for me. I am such a planner, especially at the holidays, that dealing with ambiguity is going to be a big challenge. But it is a good challenge and will make me grow in ways that I know I need to. I have to simply accept that Ben could be born at any time between now and the middle of January, and may very well be born right around or on Christmas, in spite of whatever plans I've made.

My goal for this holiday season, then, is to live in the moment as much as possible and to cherish the moments that I have with my family. To cultivate a sense of serenity, rather than a sense of frantic worry. To focus on what's really important about the holiday season, rather than trying to recreate traditions that may not bear as much meaning this year.

Luckily, I have a great role model for that. When I wanted to be pregnant at Christmas like Mary, I didn't realized I'd also have to learn to surrender and have faith like Mary. But what a blessing if I can learn to do that, too.